The idea of living together under one roof and across generations is, in principle, an appealing thought. However, one should be clear about the needs and ideas of those involved before moving in together.
Clarify expectations in advance
The romantic ideas of life together quickly vanish when the expectations of the people involved are of different types. If some view the whole matter-of-factly as a community of convenience to share costs and others look for a warm, relationship-intensive community, conflicts are inevitable. Therefore, speak out your expectations clearly and clearly, yet respectfully, and then assess the compatibility of the ideas. How important is privacy to you (access to the apartment), how far is advice (e.g., on bringing up children) wanted, and where do the mutual limits begin? How does the generation of parents view childcare, and how is the shared garden used? Clarify these things before investing in common living space.
Do the aptitude test: contract for trial
Not every personality is suitable for this form of living together: people who find it difficult to make compromises and insist on their claims, but also older people who fear of compulsory obligations and the loss of individuality should think carefully about whether they have something in common Want to dare to live together. If you are not sure, try living together on a trial basis. Take a family vacation in an apartment or inquire about multi-generation houses that allow taster days for a shared home.
Agree on clear rules and draw boundaries
Living together needs a minimum of rules. Different generations often have different views and ideas about important issues. This can create conflict as soon as you come together again under one roof. Define your everyday life together: what are common tasks, how do you regulate the shared use of the garden, how do you deal with noise, and how intensive is the extent of the common life. Not everything can be captured in rules, but a few cornerstones that have been decided together help a lot in everyday life.
Accept compromises and show understanding.
For common life to work, everyone must be willing to compromise. Please understand that older people are often slower in many things and may no longer understand many things that young people take for granted. Patience and understanding of the respective living conditions are one of the recipes for success for successful cooperation. As long as everyone is already trying to balance give and take, living together across generations can be an enrichment for everyone involved.
